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carhartt slim-fit crawford

oh carhartts.  when i first moved to maine, i had only ever seen carhartts as farm outerwear.  on old men.  welp, stick with what you know, or actually listen to your customers.  i digress.  of course i bought these full price, $50, and a size larger than usual.  6/10  website description:



where do i even begin?  generally i wear a size 12, across the board.  fortunately i went into an actual carhartt store to try on pants, and out of vanity, only sized up to a 14.  turns out, this style/cut runs the gamut of inconsistencies.  i vaguely remember checking the website post-purchase, and seeing most recommendations for sizing at least 2 sizes larger than your norm; now half the reviews say everything is too large.  back to sizing.. the "contoured waistband" somehow allows for gapping at the small of my back, while the front and sides are cutting into my internal organs.  regular inseam is a joke, and the 32" is barely long enough for me.  furthermore, the double fronts are supposed to allow for kneepads, but idk where.  any millimeter of fabric pretending to be a kneepad would crowd out any room for my flesh.


front and back pockets are functional and side pockets are as expected, but the hammer loop.  you've got to be fucking kidding.


if i use two hands and really smash a hammer into my leg, i can just squeeze it into that loop.  and then wiggle it out at the necessary moment.  cool.  let me clip my purse to it.  or i'll just tie a pink scarf to it so everyone knows i'm a lady, in my lady pants, doing lady work. 
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