why am i writing about pants? there are three key components to any item of clothing, that most manufacturers seem to only pick and choose. the 3 f's:
and possibly a 4th - financial practicality.. but i tend to be a hoarder of workwear and i continue to wear the shitty things that don't fit, so that kind of balances out..
but back to the three.
function: pants - intended for covering one's backside and legs. must allow for movement in all that carpentry demands, whether standing, climbing, squatting, crawling/rolling around on the floor, or sitting for a brief moment. a blogger i used to read coined the phrase "segmented worm syndrome" in which your body is divided [often to the point of discomfort] by your bra band, pants/skirt, slip/tights, underwear, resulting in lumpy lumps all the way down. workwear is also required to stay on, though i fight gravity and plumber's butt every day in every way, and must hold the things; ie functional pockets. when women gained the right to vote, and to wear pants, designers determined, well fuck, they don't also get real pockets; they should still have to carry purses and make sandwiches and be in the kitchen. right?
fit: having only somewhat recently discovered menswear [and the inherent sizing flaws therein] i realize women's choices are legion, and thus terrible. sizing between brands are completely arbitrary, whether odd or even numbers, inches, or letters. sometimes size charts give the size of the clothing, sometimes they give the size your body needs to be to fit into the clothing, and often, the difference is not distinguished. then there's cut; high/low/midrise waist, skinny/slim/wide/girlfriend/boyfriend/taper/bootleg leg, inseam in inches, or cropped, extra long, cuffed. if you've ever shopped for pants you understand my pain.
flattery: i obviously don't need to look like a runway model to build a house. and i could be perfectly functional in a pair of sweatpants, but i don't want to look like a goddamn delinquent. if my ass looks halfway decent, so the better. but also, see above where too much stretch for "a more feminine fit" results in detrimental gravitational pull.
- function
- fit
- flattery
and possibly a 4th - financial practicality.. but i tend to be a hoarder of workwear and i continue to wear the shitty things that don't fit, so that kind of balances out..
but back to the three.
function: pants - intended for covering one's backside and legs. must allow for movement in all that carpentry demands, whether standing, climbing, squatting, crawling/rolling around on the floor, or sitting for a brief moment. a blogger i used to read coined the phrase "segmented worm syndrome" in which your body is divided [often to the point of discomfort] by your bra band, pants/skirt, slip/tights, underwear, resulting in lumpy lumps all the way down. workwear is also required to stay on, though i fight gravity and plumber's butt every day in every way, and must hold the things; ie functional pockets. when women gained the right to vote, and to wear pants, designers determined, well fuck, they don't also get real pockets; they should still have to carry purses and make sandwiches and be in the kitchen. right?
fit: having only somewhat recently discovered menswear [and the inherent sizing flaws therein] i realize women's choices are legion, and thus terrible. sizing between brands are completely arbitrary, whether odd or even numbers, inches, or letters. sometimes size charts give the size of the clothing, sometimes they give the size your body needs to be to fit into the clothing, and often, the difference is not distinguished. then there's cut; high/low/midrise waist, skinny/slim/wide/girlfriend/boyfriend/taper/bootleg leg, inseam in inches, or cropped, extra long, cuffed. if you've ever shopped for pants you understand my pain.
flattery: i obviously don't need to look like a runway model to build a house. and i could be perfectly functional in a pair of sweatpants, but i don't want to look like a goddamn delinquent. if my ass looks halfway decent, so the better. but also, see above where too much stretch for "a more feminine fit" results in detrimental gravitational pull.
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